Demon Fey Fans
by Darka Silvath
Summary: Two teens find themselves in the Dresden verse, in the bodies that they wrote as part of a crack fanfiction – it should be noted that this fan fic is total crack as well. Still hopefully you'll get a good laugh out of it.


Inspired by the first chapter of the fic written by "CHAOS REIGNS OVER ALL".

-0-0-0-

For two girls we're not ordinary, in fact it might be said that together Christi and I make up one of the rarest social groups known to man – Gamer Girls, rare and much sort after. On the other hand we're both nerds and in our teens, so we've reached the age where we could be considered hot but where our self-esteem is at its all time low. Secondary School tends to do that to you. Now if you're wondering where I'm going with all this I think I need to take you back to when I first discovered the miracle of Fanfiction.

At the time I was searching for lesbian porn, more specifically fakes of Buffy and Faith when I came across a site entitled Frau Hunters stories and a fictional saga entitled 'Red Moon'. Now I wasn't sure what it was but at the time the only thing I like more than looking at naked men and women was reading about them, then again I'd been reading ever since I picked up my first book around three years old and hadn't stopped finding new things to read since then.

When I first found Fanfiction I thought it was illegal and that it was forbidden so I could only read it when I was alone or had time to sneak down to our family computer under the stairs and read it. It took me till my last year of Secondary School to realise that actually there was such a thing as Officially Approved Fanfiction and sites that hosted thousands if not millions of fics. Christi has been my best friend through Secondary School and shares veritably the same interests and outlooks on life as me, the only main differences is she's straight and I'm pansexual.

To all you homo-phoebes out there I'd just like to say a special fuck-you to as thanks for making my life hell through school but then again it was crude comments to me that made me realise the lesbians can actually have sex, hence my eternal search for porn. I've been called a pervert lots of times but to be honest most girls mature faster than boys and I have to say I started getting interest around year three in primary school. I used to think the idea of two girls together was romantic as they'd only ever be able to kiss and never experience the joys of intercourse.

Considering the off-topic background information about my life you should have already realised that I have absolutely _no_ aptitude for tactful confessions or conversations. Christi admires and abhors this about me and as my BFF I have to say I couldn't have survived school without her. Nevertheless the problem that calls for a solution to the current situation is that we decided as a joint effort to write a fanfiction based on a TV show, which in turn was based on a Book Series called 'The Dresden Files'. The series is about a wizard fuck-up who goes round saving people to make up for accidently/ on purpose, killing his Uncle with Dark Magic.

Christi decided to make it a partial crack fic, so we could mess with people; that either had sticks so far up there arses that they were choking on them or good guys trying to help out the collective but doing so without the aid of common sense. In Harry Potter its true what Hermione Granger says, 'Most Wizards don't have an ounce of common sense' well that's why logic is impossible to them right? Magic and Logic aren't really supposed to mix. This really explains a lot of the rules that the White Council enforce and how badly they fuck things up on a regular basis.

Well anyhow we wrote our fic and Christi placed herself in as a Demon of the 3rd Order who is assigned to grant wishes to the damned to increase the time they spend in hell. I didn't understand at first but it turned out she'd seen an anime a few years back called 'Oh My Goddess' and merged the idea with our fic. Personally I'd seen a web comic take-off called 'Oh my Demon' which was filled with sex to the brim but then again that was the sort of thing that interested me back then, these days I lack any real hormonal drive which is Ironic. In those past days Christi kept my libido under control now near to graduating it was my turn to watch hers.

Before we precede any further I suppose I should introduce my character, her name is Leiyana and she is a fey of the Winter Court; in our fanfiction we messed with the minds of the characters and pretty much made Mary Sue jokes out of everything. We should have taken the Self Insertation a little more seriously however, for now we found ourselves in the bodies of our own characters standing in Chicago and outside a Harry Dresden's door.

Yep I'd say with our current bodies, magical powers and demonic manipulating natures we were pretty fucked, not to mention what we'd Dresden up next. Still my inner fan girl was going into overdrive; we actually got to MEET the REAL Harry Dresden.

-0-0-0-

Now Personally I never really liked 'Bob' in the books but the TV series he was excellent, he just had a dry, bemoaning humour to him and I hated him the first second I saw him and then he started to act, he played the character he'd been given so well that it was a true portrayal of what I'd hoped for. Christi was a Dresden fan all the way to the Core and while I had no romantic feelings for the skull, (I'd have to be a necrophiliac if I was,) he was a strong character that bet everything and lost everything for love. Now tell me that wasn't romantic?

Now we take Harry who every episode seems to be bedding a new girl and wrecking his relationship with the old one, now I'm not Harry bashing, HELL No! But I think the guy could stand to be a bit more sensitive especially as we all know he's gunning for Murphy. Getting back to our arrival I had to say I wasn't too impressed but more confused I mean one minute we were reading a review that put us down as the anti-Christ of fanfiction the next we were in an alleyway.

The only thing that would have made are arrival in another world more clichéd would have been if the review was stating "..and I hope you get _everything_ you _deserve_."

Coming out of the alley was easy, then looking for the nearest street sign we came out approaching the door of Harry Dresden. Judging on the reviewer's comments on our banishment it wasn't too hard to work out what had happened. Though for a punishment it was pretty contrived, giving us the exact thing we wanted, then again I never did think Flamers had much sense. A Flamer isn't some kind of Demon for those of you wondering its more of what happens when you take a person who had no outlet for their racists and dogmatic ideas, give them internet access a partial literacy of the English language a basic ability to type the most basic letters in on a computers keyboard and hope they and can hit the 'send' button on the review form the first time.

Looking back at the poor door I had to wonder what we were going to do. Okay I tell a lie we both knew _exactly_ what we were going to do.

"So… Should we knock?" It was a purely rhetorical question as we both knew we were going to knock, but still felt the need to assure each other we were there. I'm sure we were still both thinking the same thing, 'I'm dreaming and there is no way in hell this is real' though to be honest are attempts were falling vainly and neither of us cared enough to do anything about it.

"Hey what should we do?" Christi obviously felt our unique situation required a bit more tact, though in a situation like this I don't understand how it would help much. Besides on the off chance we could cross his wards safely we where still going to have to explain away our situation and how we though Demons of the night, Fey and other magically creatures, not to mention magic itself were cool and we were fans.

"Wing it?" Yep Christi always came up with good answers to her own questions, why should I need to think when she could do it well enough for the both of us. I could hear a noise that sounded like a mumbled "coming." before the door was opened and an irate Harry Dresden starred out.

"Good morning can we come in, we wish to discuss something with you, and it is a matter of great importance." Okay so yeah I sounded like I had eaten a text book but I really needed him to let us in without consulting his third eye spotting us and then attacking us. Beside what kind of fey asked politely to be let in, especially a winter fey?

"Er… yeah sure, come in." As we entered I felt the power of his wards wash over me, yet another clue this was all real and not some elaborate dream. I just wish Christi would cut out the awe stuck look of wonder on her face now it would make this go a lot faster – probably. "By the way you wouldn't happen to know anything about the green flames from a building nearby would you?" His question startled me but then I noticed Karin Murphy standing uncomfortably behind him, oh good God it wasn't that episode was it, episode eleven from the series, 'Walls'.

We had not taken more than a few feet into the front of his shop when the door burst open and in came the Warden Morgan, holding his ever present focus a sword of holy-light a sign of his office as a High Warden. The fake Murphy pulled out her gun and repeated the few words she pulled before, I had to admit telling a man to drop a sword when holding a gun that close was pretty ballsy but then again the Dragoon knew it couldn't be truly hurt even if he did attack her.

Bringing Mai into the room I knew we were fast approaching a shit-storm of epic proportions.

-0-0-0-

He'd brought up his wards and we were now trapped _safe_ in the Nevernever, as the blackness was approaching the foolish Warden I stepped forward, if we were here I was damned if I wasn't going to change something. For one thing it had really depressed Morgan in the episode and he really hadn't recovered when he was next seen, still partially blaming Dresden and himself for the loss. "Fool! Do you wish to cross Deaths boundaries so soon." Hopefully my act as a fey would be convincing enough for when I revealed myself and considering I was winging it all the way, there was no F-ing way I was going to get stabbed unless I could help it.

Pulling the Warden back was easy enough, though the fool still took a moment to shake off the effects of the lure. Having Morgan step forward to thank me nearly shocked me out of my mind, "Thank you for your assistance if there is anything I can do to make it up to you please let me know." Patting the recovering man on the back he turned to acknowledge me again, "You now owe this young lady your life, think on it well that those of youth still can give advice to those of old." Did he just call me a young lady? Awe, that was so sweet, though kind of creepy considering his age and unusually nice to boot.

"Look I'm sorry but who are you exactly?" Obviously Dresden was a shocked at my interruption as Morgan though more suspicious since he didn't know me and Morgan seemed to think he did. "You do not know her?" Okay cats' out of the bag now. They both turned to me though Christi had disappeared I would guess she was exploring looking for souvenirs of Harry.

"I am Leiyana of the Winter Court; I have come seeking your aid." That shocked the assembled party dead, assuming they needed more convincing I shrugged off my Human form and initiated my fanfiction gifted, sparkling icy blue form briefly before returning to the standard pinkish norm for humans. "Wha… What!" He actually took it better than I expected and I really did need his aid, besides if I worded it accurately enough maybe I could get him to return us to our original world while tricking him into thinking he was just returning us to the Nevernever.

"Dresden! You are the betrayer, dabbling in the dark once more, I should have known you'd slip eventually." Uh Oh Morgan's brandishing his sword towards Dresden this isn't good. "What! No I've never seen her before, besides Morgan look we're trapped in a house with an eerie black mist closing in and no way out, we don't need your paranoid conspiracy theories on top of everything else!" I couldn't help agree with him and so I was very put out when he turned to me and accused me as the cause.

"So.. what are your doing here and why did you do this?" Hypocrite, so much for not jumping to paranoid conclusions, then again this probably was a day in the life for Harry Dresden so he had every reason to be stressed and paranoid, with the number of people out to get him, I would be too. My explanation would have too wait as at that moment Christi had come back and was clutching Bob's skull in her arms, _stroking_ it gently. I have no idea what she was thinking until she whispered, Bobhubertbrainbridge I summon thee. Why the hell did she think a mumbled summoning would work if she didn't even pronounce the name properly but it made Dresden and Morgan turn around in a hurry.

Before I could intervene from the approaching bloodbath the fake Murphy chose to intervene playing her part (with improvisations) as well as possible. "Dresden what is going on? _Harry_, explain. Now!" Apparently as grave as the situation was both men still had time to cringe at being told off by a woman, and people say the female is the weaker of the species, of course we weren't really the same species at tall, there was only one female human in this nightmare and she was a short haired blonde warden.

"Bob…" Dresden had apparently noticed that Christi was holding his favourite skulled friend. Morgan still keeping his eyes wearily on Dresden turned I on the other hand waited while the fake Murphy pretended to be enspelled by the dark mist and walk to wards it. While Dresden and Morgan were distracted I let off a flying (literally) kick to the Dragoon's unprotected back propelling it into the darkness, with a blinding scream the being was instantly torn apart from encroaching the more lethal areas of the Nevernever realm.

Turning I saw the shocked glances from the others and the absolutely horror struck expression of Dresden as he saw his best friend and possible love interest disappear to the other side. "…Murphy…" Oops I needed to salvage this situation before he thought I'd killed his best friend, "The Imitation, a facsimile of human form has been removed, Mai will now be capable of healing." Addressing Morgan was the smartest thing to do, he may not like me now he _knew_ I was a Winter Fey but it was a necessary sacrifice I was willing to take.

While the men didn't move for several moments the black mist began to shift until it was slowly gone. A few moments later a more steady and healed looking Mai (though still dirt covered) descended the stairs from Dresden's bedroom with help from the other two Wardens. "Ancient Mai, you're feeling_ better_?" His question sounded a tiny bit insolent and I was sure was Mai in a better mode she would have chosen to slap him, it seemed to be a favourite practise of hers.

"Yes the object keeping me from healing has been removed, well done Dresden maybe you're not entirely useless." If she was back to duel complementing and insulting Dresden she_ was_ feeling better. Pity he couldn't' take the credit this time, only the blame. Then again my intervention still wouldn't endanger him that much besides if they did attack me I could bluff pretty well and this knew body had just taken out a Dragoon, then again if my suspicions' were right Mai was a Drakon the highest breed of dragon, pureblood not matter what the numerous Fanfictions speculated.

Surprisingly it was Morgan who gave me the credit, though the Warden didn't look happy about it. I don't think he liked me very much, anymore. "It was the actions of… Leiyana, not Dresden that resulted in a solution to our problem." Turning in surprise she surveyed me and after a moment flinched back, the ancient one had obviously used her third eye to determine my nature and discovered me a fey. Turning back to Dresden I knew she was going to blame it all on him, per unusual.

"Dresden for the crime of summoning from the outer gates you are to be exec-" I never gave her a chance to finish. "If Dresden dies the Winter Courts will declare _Open _war on the White Council." That stopped Mai horrified; the other Wardens were also looking like they were facing the scariest being they had ever met and had just been told they weren't allowed to use magic to fight it. "..But.. the accords?" Mai couldn't seem to believe it, that the Winter Court would declare war over one human, a Morningway descendant at that.

Of course I was telling the truth, my portion of the Winter Court would declare war but as that only made up well me, it wouldn't be all that impressive, no epic battle or anything like that. Just me teleporting a lot of pocket nukes under the councils respective noses. Dresden was looking the most shocked of all; then again other than Bianca he probably wasn't used to people defending him, even Murphy just waved him off from his customary insults when he was accused of something.

"That's not all," Turning behind them the Council members noted Christi, she had placed Bob's skull down and was standing facing them directly. "I am Christi, High Demon of the 3rd Order." Pausing to make her eyes glow and her tattoo's (shamelessly copied from anime) flash and shift, glared more forcefully at them, "If Dresden falls we will annihilate the race of man in vengeance for his death." Morgan actually dropped his sword at the one.

The Wardens key mistakes had been assuming that if Dresden had summoned us we wouldn't be too keen to defend him, after all no summon likes being bossed around by a being lower than its self. Unfortunately we weren't real monsters (though as women that could be debated) and were still human in mind and well mostly soul. Still we had systematically stale-mated members of the council into leaving Dresden alone, I couldn't wait to tell them as they left that he didn't actually summon us. The look on Mai's face would be hilarious, knowing someone got through the honoured Gatekeepers wards.


End file.
